Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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