Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
