im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
