escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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