as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
