I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
