dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
