if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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