Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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