But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
