Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
