We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
