hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
