Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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