is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
