with your own penis?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My dick has a subreddit
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
