So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We had to coat check the pizza.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
