last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
