the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
as a side note pls kill me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
