stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
