He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
