There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
