i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
