No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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