she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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