11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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