Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
