We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
