I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
