return my video game
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
