whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
