Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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