If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
