You really coming over, don't trick.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
