Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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