Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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