so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
