Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
