Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
