U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
