if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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