he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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