guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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