yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
