i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
