You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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