just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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