Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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