I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
