It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
only you would photoshop your dick
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
